Perfect Doesn't Last

Like all young girls, I had a lot of dreams, always dreaming of a whirlwind romance with a knight in shining armor coming to rescue me. And dreamy eyed, that I was, I wanted to be the writer of my own destiny, wanting to be the architect of my own life.

So after being persistently followed by my husband, I had thought it was the beginning of a wonderful fairy tale with a happy ever after.

But soon after my marriage,all my dreams came crashing down and I woke to the reality that fairy tales aren't real, at least not for me. The cruel and apathetic attitude on part of my husband made my world crashing down. I soon realised that my husband who came from an Oriya Brahman family had a matrilineal family where the women ruled the roost and his mother and 6 sisters did not want any other female in the household. Right from day one I was made to feel uncomfortable and no customs were carried out which are mandatory after the bride reaches the matrimonial home.

My father-in-law told me these words that I will not be allowed to put my roots in this family and his words still ring in my ears. My husband had conveniently forgotten to tell me this or to persuade his mother and sisters to accept me. They all started ignoring my presence and made me feel like an outsider on the very first day. I was shocked by this treatment. I was taken aback by this aversion and had I known that I was not welcome, I would not have married. My husband had lied that everyone was happy with the match but due to language barrier as they spoke Oriya, they were not communicating with me. On the second day I heard them speaking in Hindi & English.

When I asked my husband he feigned ignorance and did not answer my questions and also refused to bridge the gap. They would all deliberately speak in Oriya to make me feel uncomfortable. My husband also conversed in his mother tongue and made me feel like an outsider. It was then I realized that “Perfect doesn't Last” or that there is nothing perfect.

I can best sum up my situation in Beth Crowley's song “Perfect Doesn’t Last”.

“I would have bet on us

We were untouchable, you and I

I couldn't get enough

It was a fairytale come to life

I had your heart

At least that's what I thought

Now I'm second-guessing

Every moment

Wondering where we went so wrong

I just keep asking

Would this have been worth it

If I knew the ending all along

What started so perfect

Was over too fast

I should have seen the warning signs

'Cause perfect doesn't last.”