Nothing Left

The year 2021 will remain etched in my memory as it was the culmination of all the torture I had been suffering for the last 20 years . I had been putting up with the idiosyncrasies and the narcissistic behaviour of my husband as it was always everything about him.

Now his affair was the last nail in the coffin.

My husband had been planning all along how to get rid of me and my daughters. He was working in a premeditated manner.

I just don't understand how a simple truth that I can no longer stay with you all could have changed things.

No,not with my husband he is not the one to take the blame, always passing the buck on to someone else.

Responsibility is something that he could never take in all these years acting like a martyr, though I was the one making all the sacrifices and kept the home running , but not him.

He had been planning to leave all along and in November 2019, asked me to get a separate gas connection in my name. I knew that he was planning to move out. He stopped doing things for me or my daughters. It was now all about him and his girlfriend.

I just stood in silence taking everything in and realised nothing was left.

The lyrics of the song nothing left by Beth Crowley sum it all up.

"I remember that night clear as day

Feeling helpless as you walked away

Wish I could rewrite history

To a story where you stay with me

Standing in the wreckage I can tell there's nothing left

And I don't believe you when you say you tried your best

You barely glance back at the damage in your wake

You may never care that I'm the one you could have saved

Forever's what I promised you

But forever's meant for liars and fools

A check mark on my lessons learned

That you don't always get what you deserve

Standing in the wreckage I can tell there's nothing left."