Empty Eyes

Few months into my marriage, I felt my husband was always interested in other women, always flirting and when I objected

he would just run away.

Once he was flirting with a sales girl and when I did not like it, he abandoned me and left me in the car, with the engine still running in the middle of the road.

I should have realized what lay ahead of me.

I sat there in the car till the honking horns brought me out of my shock.

I parked the car near the sidewalk and sat there for God knows how long.

I then summoned the courage to go back to the place I called 'home'.

The writing was clear on the wall but I remained oblivious and blind to it , not knowing what to do just thinking my anger and hurt would change him, but how wrong was I.

Soon after he started showing interest in my youngest sister who was unmarried and when I again objected he started telling me that his astrologer had told him that he will be married to my younger sister also.

My world crashed into pieces. I was 2½ months pregnant. I felt so trapped. When I cried and we had a fight , he beat me and in the middle of the night threw me out of the house, then condescended to drop me at my mother's house.

I just did not know what to do. I felt so cheated.

He felt I should be thankful to him for his honesty.

I just asked him why he had married me. That question still haunts me to this day but I can't do anything apart from remembering those empty eyes staring right back at me.

The beautiful lyrics of the song Empty Eyes by Munn sum up my situation.

"I gave up everything to be right there

You didn't say a single word or show that you cared

I let my guard down so you could see

I felt those empty eyes stare back at me

Your empty eyes back at me

Back at me

Watch my heart break to pieces

Is this what you needed

I know

I know you don't love like I loved you

And you never did all along

Tell me I'm wrong

And now the rains will fall

And so will I this time

And I won't get back up

'Cause I gave it all just to watch you live your life

You didn't care for mine

You hear my words now like they're just wind

I know you feel them pass by

But not thought of again

Easy for you just to let them go

You play the part like it hurts

But you'll never know

The pain you cause that I won't show."