Empty Eyes

Going down memory lane, I realise I was like any other girl looking at life through rose colored glasses, seeing the best in everyone and in life. After completing my Masters in English and my Bachelors in Law, I dreamt of becoming a judge , to hand out justice to all, because our property was usurped by my uncle and we were not given a share after the death of my father. Once again,I became optimistic and looked forward to achieving my dreams but I was warned by some senior lady advocates that I should marry within 3 years or else I would remain a spinster like them. My husband soon after started approaching me as he had kept an eye on me and relentlessly pursued me but i told him i wished to become a judge and was not interested in marriage and specially not him as we came from different caste and culture and the marriage would not work out , but my husband then said everything will work out and his family members would accept the alliance.

I thought i was marrying into an educated family so they would be different but my hopes came crashing down when at the time of my marriage i saw how uninterested they were and husband’s family started demanding dowry despite the fact that my mother was giving 400 grams of gold, cash and a car but they wanted more, apart from gifts for everyone.

Instead of siding with me, my husband joined his family in their demand. I realised the folly of my decision of marrying in a different caste and reality soon dawned on me that I would have to fight my battles alone, my spouse would not be supporting me and I was left gazing empty eyed.

My situation can be summarised by the song ‘Empty Eyes’ by Munn.

“I gave up everything to be right there

You didn't say a single word or show that you cared

I let my guard down so you could see

I felt those empty eyes stare back at me

Your empty eyes back at me

Back at me

Watch my heart break to pieces

Is this what you needed

I know

I know you don't love like I loved you

And you never did all along

Tell me I'm wrong

And now the rains will fall

And so will I this time

And I won't get back up

'Cause I gave it all just to watch you live your life

You didn't care for mine”